Emo…that’s what I feel now and for the past 2 weeks. Maybe it’s just the atmosphere, new year just passed, lots of feeling pouring from all directions. Before holiday, I was desperate, desperate in almost everything, the party, the house, the toilet, the performance, the administration, the mood, the hidden meanings, the friends, the pictures etc. [ops, now I know I missed out studies and reports, no wonder now I’m so frust with them] But after Christmas…everything just sort of moving in a super slow pace…suddenly I lost all my moods and feelings, no more desperation, I just want peace. And suddenly I feel tired of almost all things…Feel guilty of leaving my baby untouched, guilty of not going for master classes, finding peace just sitting in front of the lap top or just talking to Merv’s mum, enjoying the moment of lil chit chat with Tracy and half naked Merv, eating dragon fruits together haha. It’s as though I’ve grown up 10 years in just one week…sigh getting old. Now I left 9 year ++ of youth to enjoy…

           The happiest moment, I guess, is the time I spend with my gang!! Despite the lil tantrum with my family few days ago, I still feel extra happy when I can see any of the faces of my gang. Some might think I have split personality, emo in msn but forever smiling in my gang. Haha maybe I do have, but I just feel happy to be with them, the cloudy mood just shoo itself away!! And I really think it’s unnecessary to make them worry for me and of course bringing the whole gang’s mood down is really bad. I promise myself I’ll control my bad temper, when in my gang. And they’re nice enough to leave me alone when I’m in a bad mood, which is good to avoid harm to them and to me as well haha. I really appreciate all those cares through msgs. [this is because when I’m in a bad mood, whoever comes will ‘kena’ by me]

            One old friend said, I’m easily contented, I never thought I am but now I really think she’s right. Simple lil things can make me happy for the whole day now. A small gift from HP, from Mam of South Wales can make me happy just the thought of them. Even a simple smile from KP also makes me happier!

            TRI, you are the best I’ve ever had. Sharing, trust, care, and great sense of humour are always the keys to all of us right?! Ppl say it’s weird why we are in one gang, because everyone of us is so much different from the others. I know the answer, we are not ‘kiasu’ among each other [in fact, we procrastinate together-gether haha]. There’re of course certain amount of competitive among us [I’ll be kidding the whole world if I say none] but we never took that seriously don’t we? We commented and criticized each other sometimes quite harshly but we keep that among us only and that is really good, as we learn more about each other and we learn to improve ourselves. ‘back stabbing’ intra-gang is better than those ppl really back stabbing each other. Those are ppl with real split personality! Don’t you think? I find peace when I’m around you guys!! Love you guys so much!!

            The steamboat yesterday was nice!! I enjoy every moment, saviour to my soul once I stepped out of Dr Ignacio’s workshop. Enjoy the moment where you guys try to get the BBQ chicken wings haha, the lil gossip I learned, the lil lessons I learn, the lil chit chat we had, the lil super lesbian moment with Jeannie and Pui Leng [hope Chris didn’t get jealous at the sight yesterday] the lil joke bout Prawns with Chris, lil ‘rebut Edmund’ moments with Jeannie and LY, ah those were just nice haha!! The cake eating moment was just so haha how to say, a bit childish but overall the best moment!! What we did? We shared the apple crumble ‘together-gether’…as in everyone took a piece then eat from each other’s plate, Jeannie even cut portions from her plate and gave it to Chloe and Pui Leng, all those talks about fattening, calories are nonsense haha, pretended to be weight conscious but all finished the cake! At the end!! Luckily I hid in the toilet and when I’m done, my cake was gone as well!! Aiyar haha, all so shock sendiri last night, I think those scenes are really unsightly to other customers haha. Hmm, it’s a waste Edmund didn’t show me how to shave his head with the Shaver we got him lol.

            I think why we enjoy ourselves so much together is because we don’t need much money to enjoy and no high maintenance in our gang, and Bdays are really good excuses for us to hang out together and that’s all, we cherish every moment we’re together haha. We love each other because of who we are, not because of what we are. No show offs, no pressures. We accept every single soul in the gang. I hope that we hold this magic spells together and forever if possible. Love you guys, xxooxxooXOXO haha.

Sweat, I always ended up writing what that’s not in my mind. Got carried away easily…never mind la some words are better left untouched, or when I have the mood to touch lar…